Loving Care for Your Inner World

Self-care is a term you hear more often these days. Eating healthily, sleeping well, exercising, taking a warm shower, and occasionally allowing yourself extra time and rest when you're stressed. All important, absolutely! But true self-care goes beyond that. It's a gentle yet powerful way of living where you tune into what you really need — inside. Not just in stressful times, but also in daily, ordinary life — always!

In this blog, I introduce you to the concept of inner hygiene — mental and emotional self-care — and share eight anchors from my coaching practice and my own life. Each one insights that have helped me tremendously. Not to tell you how it should be done (because I can't determine that for you 😉), but with the desire to inspire you. Perhaps it helps you to view certain aspects differently, feel more deeply, or care for yourself in a new way. At the end of the blog, you'll find a practical list of self-care tools you can try out yourself.

1 • Create Inner Silence and Peace Around You

As someone in their early 50s, I can still remember well: twenty years ago, we still had regular moments of 'doing nothing.' Just sitting a bit, waiting for the train, spending a quiet Sunday afternoon, or traveling without distraction. Such moments of 'boredom' gave space to just drift, perhaps not even think — to be calm.

Nowadays, 'waiting' seems to be something we can no longer do or want to do. We always have distractions at hand — our phones are constantly within reach, we want to get from A to B as quickly as possible, and time must always be spent 'usefully.' But if we really want to take good care of ourselves, silence and doing nothing are among the most valuable tools I know. For me, it's even the most essential!

Why Silence?

Think about it: How can you hear the voice of your intuition if it's always busy, both in your head and around you? How can you truly feel what's happening in your body or what you need if your thoughts are constantly wandering, or if you're always 'on' for the world around you? Silence is not just a moment of rest — it's the space where you can feel, process, and just be. It provides room for everything that lives within you and wants to come out.

Moreover, our brains cannot distinguish between a memory or a real event, or, for example, a real threat and our thoughts about that threat. When we are constantly thinking about worries or doubts, we can thus trigger stress reactions in our bodies. And so a vicious circle of stress arises, in which both your body and mind attune to each other — and we get stuck. In this, consciously seeking silence within yourself can be a valuable tool: it has a calming effect on your nervous system, helps you relax, and get out of your stream of thoughts.

How to Create Silence?

• •A nice exercise I often do myself is taking a few minutes a day where I just let my thoughts drift. Not grabbing onto them, not reacting, but just letting them go. A beautiful image for this is the sky: let your thoughts drift by like clouds in a blue sky. You can also integrate this into your daily routine.

• •Or, for example, during a walk, really look at the nature around you: follow a tree with your gaze into the sky, study the flowers in the garden or the plant on the table, or discover something you've never noticed before on your way home. Do this without judgment or thinking about it—you look and observe. These small moments of focus and silence help you bring your attention back to the here and now.

In my practice, I share more exercises to integrate silence into your life. But these small moments of presence are a wonderful step—with a significant impact in the long term.

2 • Feel into Your Body

We live in a world largely driven by our heads. Our schedules, our daily decisions, our work, our social life — they are all determined from our thoughts and plans. We sometimes forget that we are not just a brain, but that we also have a body. Some of us live so much in their thoughts that they don't feel much connection with their bodies. But this body — with its approximately 35 trillion cells — is an incredible communication system that constantly gives us information and stores information. It works for us, even when we don't notice it. It's constantly busy repairing and renewing itself.

Our brains, for example, are never really 'off' — they are active 24 hours a day, making changes and adapting to new situations. This is called neuroplasticity. Even while we sleep, our brains are actively processing and strengthening new connections and cleaning up old ones. What many people don't know is that our heart also plays an important role in this communication. It not only pumps blood around but also sends signals to our brains (even more than the other way around!). In fact, the electromagnetic field of your heart extends about 1.5 meters around you (this is measurable!) — with this, we absorb information and also send signals and information to the world around us.

{> Curious about the fascinating science behind the biomagnetic communication of our heart? Then take a look at this article from the HeartMath Institute.}

This means that our body communicates with us on a deeper level. It tells us when we need rest or energy (food), when we need to be alert, and when we are in danger. It stores memories to better protect us in the future. The body is a treasure trove of wisdom, but how often do we take the time to really listen to it?

Therefore, a small exercise to feel into your body:

• •Take some time to sit quietly — whether you're on the couch, at your desk, or even in the metro. Bring your attention to your body. Can you feel your hands? How do your feet feel? What's happening with your abdomen or your legs? Do a small body scan and notice all sensations. Do you feel tingling, warmth, or tension? Maybe you notice that there are blockages or contractions. If they are there — try to consciously relax them.

• •If you want to practice further, you can try to send the energy in your body upwards — from your feet to your head and back again. Feel each part of your body attentively, from the tips of your toes to the tops of your fingers and your crown. It's not only a way to get more in touch with your body, but it also literally brings you out of your head and into your being. I often practise this when I am in bed at night. It helps me to leave the day behind and relax, before going to sleep.

These kinds of exercises have brought me personally so much. I really learned to listen to my body and developed a new relationship with my body and the energy field that flows through me. This is an ongoing process.

A special experience I recently had was when I suddenly felt a sense of restlessness in my body. It was as if stress and urgency were sitting inside me, but I couldn’t relate it to the current situation. Still, the feeling was very familiar. After tuning in more deeply, I discovered it was a very old (childlike) fear — a memory of feeling abandoned and lost. A situation had triggered that old emotion in me. It was playing out inside me without me even realizing it. My mind had already moved on, but my body was still stuck in the memory. By following the sensation in my body, I was able to uncover the insight I needed to understand the emotion. This gave me more self-awareness and allowed me to soothe myself on a deeper level.

Since I’ve been consciously connecting more with my body, I feel more calm within, and a new sense of groundedness — as if I’m inhabiting it more fully. I now see it as a relationship that requires attention and care — and love.

3 • Talk to Yourself

Yes — you heard that right 🙂: Talk to yourself. Not necessarily out loud (although that’s perfectly fine too), but especially on the inside. Because in order to truly take care of yourself, you need to learn to understand yourself. And that starts with an open, loving inner dialogue.

For me, this has become incredibly valuable — especially in moments when I feel overwhelmed by strong emotions. Instead of reacting immediately from that emotional wave, I take a step back. I first feel what is truly going on inside me, and then I ask myself questions like: What do I need right now? What is this feeling trying to tell me? And what action is appropriate now?

It’s not always easy, but more and more often, I manage to do it. And the difference is so noticeable: where I used to fall into automatic reactions or conflict, now there’s space for calm, reflection — and often even connection. That feels good and is deeply insightful.

How to start an inner conversation?

Start slowly. Begin with simple questions like:

• •How am I feeling today?
• •How am I really doing — deep down?
• •What am I feeling — and where do I feel it in my body?
• •What do I need right now?
• •What would give me energy?
• •What do I feel like doing?

It may feel a bit strange at first. Simply because we were never taught this — and honestly, how wonderful would it be if this were taught in school? 💛

Important to remember: try not to judge. A judgment quickly labels something and can hold you back from truly listening to your feelings. In fact, judgment tends to take you further away from your self-inquiry. Instead: listen to yourself with openness and compassion. (Self-)Judgment often runs deep within us – therefore this takes some practice and patience.

Find your own questions.

Tailor your inner dialogue to what works for you. It doesn’t need to follow a fixed method — it’s about making contact with yourself. Taking a moment to pause, listen, and respond.

And it goes beyond just feeling what you need now — you can also use this kind of self-reflection for self-knowledge, depth, personal growth, and healing.

Here are some deeper questions that might help:

• •What gives me energy?
• •When do I feel truly alive?
• •What happens in me when I feel stressed?
• •What triggers me — and where have I felt that before?
• •What need of mine is currently unmet?
• •What are my typical reactions or pitfalls?
• •Why do I sometimes want to run away from certain situations?
• •What helps me to calm down again?
• •What would I say to a friend who feels this way?

By asking yourself these kinds of questions regularly, you get to know yourself better. You’ll discover old beliefs that may have once served you, but now hold you back. You’ll start to recognize your automatic responses — and learn to approach them with more gentleness. You’ll develop greater self-empathy.

And as you understand yourself more deeply, inner calm begins to grow. And that calm ripples out into everything: how you respond to others, how you experience the world around you, how you protect your boundaries and make decisions. Self-empathy is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself ✨.

4 • Be Kind to Yourself

Are you ever truly aware of how you talk to yourself? Most of our inner self-talk happens unconsciously and automatically. And often, we have the tendency to be quite harsh on ourselves, especially when things don’t go the way we want them to or expect to.

We all know those moments of self-criticism. Like: “That was so bad, I should’ve known better!” These kinds of thoughts are familiar to many of us. It can even be shocking to suddenly realize just how many negative thoughts are running through your mind — or how unkind you can be to yourself.

I remember one moment during a bikram yoga class about six years ago. We always practice in front of a mirror. I looked at myself — wearing just shorts and a top — and suddenly felt this deep wave of disgust, with the thought: “You’re so ugly!” It came from deep inside and hit me hard. I was genuinely shocked. That moment really made me pause and reflect. I knew clearly: This isn’t right. I don’t want to treat myself this way.

This is an essential part of self-care: paying attention to the words you speak to yourself.

What can help with this inner exploration:

Imagine you are your own best friend. Would you speak to them the way you speak to yourself? Probably not. So why would you treat yourself that way?

Why is this so important?

When we’re constantly critical of ourselves, we undermine our well-being. Instead of lifting ourselves up, we tear ourselves down or blame ourselves. Often this stems from past experiences or fear. To protect ourselves, we may have developed mechanisms — and sometimes those mechanisms are even directed against us. These are unconscious patterns that influence how we think about ourselves. That’s why it’s so important to become the observer of your own thoughts, to become aware of how you speak to yourself. Only then can you begin to change the pattern and create a gentler, more compassionate inner voice.

For example: say you didn’t finish a project the way you had hoped.

Instead of saying:
“That was terrible. I should’ve done better!”
You could say:
“It’s okay. Even though it didn’t go perfectly, I really did my best.”

It’s also especially important to show empathy toward yourself during times of stress.
When life gets tough, it’s natural to seek support from others. But it’s just as important to know that your own support is just as valuable. No one understands what you’re going through like you do — and developing self-compassion is essential.

For example:
“It makes perfect sense that I’m tired after this stressful week. So it’s completely okay to cancel dinner plans tonight.”

This kind of compassionate inner dialogue not only helps you meet yourself with kindness, but also helps you to better listen to your needs and take care of yourself accordingly. It creates a healthy, nurturing climate within you.

5 • Take Care of Your Inner Climate

Have you ever noticed how your mood and state of mind influence the way you perceive the world around you? Our inner climate — how we feel on the inside — affects everything: our thoughts, emotions, and how we respond to others and our environment. We often move along with our surroundings, like a reflection of the outside world. When there’s a storm outside, we can easily find ourselves “in the storm” too — without even realizing it.

So, how do you take care of your inner climate?

First — it’s important to realize that you are responsible for your own state of mind. It’s your responsibility to take good care of yourself, even when the world around you feels chaotic. This also means paying conscious attention to what’s going on inside you — so you can understand what you’re feeling and why.

You might recognize this:

• •When you’re tired or feeling exhausted, you might get irritated more easily or misinterpret a conversation.
  
• •When you’re stressed, you may feel attacked in a situation that isn’t actually that serious.
  
• •But when you’re feeling bright and cheerful inside, you can put difficult situations more easily into perspective and see them differently.

It’s valuable to pay attention to your inner climate and how it influences your responses. By taking a moment to check in with yourself, you’ll better understand what you need — and how to respond in a way that actually supports you. Self-awareness of your inner state helps you react with more kindness and clarity — both toward yourself and others.

What can you do?

• •Notice your inner state: Do you have energy or not so much? Are you relaxed or tense? Take that into account in your actions, doing and plans.
  
• •Identify the influences: What’s making you feel this way? Are you just tired? Is it work? A certain relationship? Your health?
  
• •Make time for rest and self-care: Ensure you have enough moments of stillness and relaxation to restore your inner balance.

When you're aware of your inner climate, you can take better care of yourself and find more balance — even when it’s stormy outside. That awareness helps you respond with more clarity, make distinctions, and choose what truly serves you.

6 • Be Mindful of What You Take In

Are you aware of everything you take in mentally? It makes sense when you think about it — everything you see, hear, and read impacts your state of mind. Just as healthy food is important for your body, what you consume mentally affects your energy, clarity, and inner calm. So... what are you feeding your mind with?

Social media often seems harmless, but it can be quite draining. Especially those endless reels or posts that temporarily distract you but leave you feeling restless afterward. And then there’s the news. The news can consume so much of your attention that it starts to shape your inner world — especially if you dive in too deep.

So, what can you do?

It all comes down to balance. I always ask myself what something gives me — or costs me:

• •Does it give me energy and peace?
• •Or does it drain me, make me restless, or overstimulated?

This is a simple way to assess whether something is good for you. It doesn’t mean you have to reject everything, but being conscious helps you manage your energy. This applies to all kinds of areas:

• •Social contacts and relationships: These are important, including your work and responsibilities, but if it gets too much it can become exhausting. Make sure you feel good in your connections and set boundaries where needed.
  
• •Family and home life: It’s also important here to take time for yourself. You can only give your full attention and care to others when you’ve taken good care of yourself first and feel balanced.
  
• •Work and responsibilities: Try to really disconnect in the evenings and on weekends. Give yourself space to recover, so you can return with a fresh view the next day.
  
• •What you watch, read, and listen to: Pay attention to the content you consume. Is it something that suits your current mood? A thrilling podcast might be fun, but not ideal during a moment when you need calm and rest.
  
• •Social media & news: Be mindful of how you scroll through social media! It often costs more energy than you realize — sometimes you only feel it afterward. I recognize this in myself too, especially when I quickly grab my phone during a break. And during certain periods, the news can be upsetting or cause anxiety. That’s when it’s time for a news or information diet!

So, the question is: What are you taking in today? And how does it make you feel afterward?

It’s good to be conscious of this — so you can make intentional choices about what gives you energy and what doesn’t.

7 • Letting Go and Acceptance

There are moments in life when we simply don’t have control — think of things like world politics, other people’s behavior, getting fired or the loss of a loved one. These situations can stir up a lot of emotions, such as helplessness, sadness, or anger. That’s normal and deeply human.

But did you know that letting go and accepting can actually be more powerful than you might think? It may sound strange, but it can truly help you find inner peace. Letting go doesn’t mean sticking your head in the sand or waiting passively — it’s an active choice to stop resisting what is, and to stay centered instead. Some circumstances in our lives cannot be changed, but we do have a choice in how we deal with them.

What happens when you can accept what is?

It helps you take a step back, reflect, and look at the situation with fresh eyes. Instead of staying stuck in resistance, you accept things as they are. This leaves you with more energy and gives you the space to make a clear decision about how you want to respond. Sometimes, after a little time, the situation may even resolve itself. And often, simply pausing and admitting you don’t know the answer yet can be freeing. In not knowing, there can even be relief — you get to stop struggling to find a solution for a moment.

Yes — there is the unknown. It's part of life, and yet it can feel uncomfortable. For me, as someone who likes to be in control, it was a big challenge to surrender to it. But doing so brought me a great sense of inner calm. It may seem like a paradox, but by actively embracing that uncertainty, I discovered that it creates space — space for possibilities we can't even imagine. Precisely because we let go, tension releases, and new opportunities can unfold. We're getting back into the flow of life.

You can ask yourself:

Is there something in your life you could let go of? What would happen if you dared to do that — right now?

For example:

• •A difficult relationship: Think of that connection that keeps bringing tension. What if you let go of the struggle, instead of replaying it in your mind or resisting it?

• •An unresolved problem: Do you have that one issue that never seems to have a solution? What if you allowed yourself to release it — without the pressure of needing an answer?

• •Perfectionism: Do you recognize that constant urge to do everything perfectly? What if you let go of that pressure, and accepted that “good enough” is also completely fine?

Try playing it out in your mind, and really listen to the answers 👂🏼.

👉 Another important aspect to become aware of in your self-care and in the process of letting go:

• •Do you (perhaps unconsciously) set conditions for yourself before you're allowed to relax, feel happy, or simply let go?
  For example: “First the other person has to be happy, then I can be.” Or: “Only when everything is done, can I take a break.”

• •Do you have expectations about how something should feel?
  What self-care should bring you? How you should feel? Or what you expect from yourself in general?

These questions can tell you a lot — about the (often unconscious) pressure or limitations you place on yourself.

By becoming aware of this and approaching it with gentleness, you create space.
And that space brings softness, inner peace, more freedom — and often a deeper connection with yourself.

8 • Stay Away from “Shoulds”

Have you ever done something that didn’t feel quite right — but you did it anyway because you felt like you had to? Even things like eating well, exercising, or taking time for yourself can start to feel like obligations, when we already have to many 'shoulds' in our live. But self-care isn’t something you should do. It’s a conscious choice — because you deserve to take good care of yourself 💛.

Change in your life takes time and patience. But it becomes so much easier when you don’t treat it as a “should” or a must. Because when something feels like an obligation, it can trigger resistance — or there is an unmet need behind it. Just think about it: How often do you feel like you have to do something, when deep down, you know you actually need something else?

Here are a few things to reflect on:

• •What’s behind the feeling of “should”? Is there perhaps a different desire that you haven’t expressed? And how can you make sure that your true need still gets met?

• •Try a playful approach: Self-care doesn’t have to be serious or heavy. Approach it with curiosity and a sense of fun! It is for your own wellbeing.

• •Look at what works for you: Everyone is different — thank goodness — otherwise life would be quite boring! You know best what lifts your energy, makes you feel good, and helps you recharge.

It’s important to understand: there’s no such thing as perfect self-care or a perfect lifestyle. It’s different for everyone. And what feels good today might feel different tomorrow. Self-care is always evolving — just like you, your body, and life itself. That’s why it’s so helpful to keep experimenting and discovering what works best for you right now. It keeps things interesting — and enjoyable!

So, it is helpful to ask yourself: Where in your life do you feel a sense of obligation or “should”? Why do you feel that way? And what might happen if you let go of that “should” and allowed things to feel lighter and more free for yourself?

🌟 10 Tips for Self-Care and Inner Hygiene

A few simple but powerful ideas to help you find balance and take good care of yourself. They’re easy to try — so why not? 💫

• •Tune Out Regularly
  Create a warm, quiet space just for yourself — where you can simply be, without any expectations. Whether it’s in silence or with soft music, give yourself time where nothing is required of you. It can be as short or long as you like, and wherever suits you — even during your workday ;-)!

• •Switch Off / Log Out
  Give yourself space away from media and the outside world. For example, try keeping your phone in airplane mode until after breakfast, or go for a walk after lunch — without your phone — and really notice what’s around you. Try having at least one media-free evening a week. You might rediscover activities you used to love, or simply feel more at ease.

• •Cherish Yourself
  Take a moment now and then to feel proud and grateful. Did you accomplish something or experience something meaningful? Connect with your heart and pause to really feel it. This is yours to feel.

• •Pause for the Moment
  See a beautiful flower, share a belly laugh with a friend, or just feel light and free? Pause for a moment, take it in, and enjoy it fully. Appreciation is a powerful feeling — it allows you to experience the moment even more deeply.

• •Sit in Stillness for 5 Minutes
  Sit quietly, let your thoughts float by, and tune in to your body. What do you feel? Can you sense your hands or feet? How is your breath? Just follow it — in and out. This small “stillness check-in” helps you shift from your head into your body. It’s a gentle way to return to the here and now.

• •Create a Self-Care Routine
  Build in a moment for yourself — every day. Whether it’s a short meditation, applying a lovely lotion after your shower, or dancing around to your favorite music after a busy day. It’s your time to care for and reconnect with yourself. By making it a regular part of your day, it becomes a habit you can always lean on.

• •Soak Up Nature
  Go for a walk in the park, visit the forest, or spend time near a lake. Nature is our natural habitat and has proven healing effects: it reduces stress, boosts focus, lifts your mood, and even helps regulate blood pressure. And the best part? In nature, everything is allowed to be — without judgment. A pure source of inspiration and calm!

• •Share Your Inner World
  It’s not always easy to open up, especially when things feel hard or vulnerable. But speaking about what’s going on inside can be incredibly freeing. Whether it’s a friend, your partner, or a trusted family member — someone you feel safe with. It creates connection and often brings a sense of relief or recognition. It doesn’t always have to be about finding solutions — sometimes just sharing and being heard is enough. Don’t let hesitation hold you back; sharing often brings the clarity and support you need. And above all: a healing connection with others — a space for mutual learning!

• •Give and Receive a Hug
  Physical touch is essential to our wellbeing! It not only feels good, but has proven health benefits. Hugging, for example, boosts the release of oxytocin — the “cuddle hormone.” It fosters trust, safety, and connection, while also reducing stress. Oxytocin even helps us better handle fear and strengthens our resilience. So hug freely — it’s good for you and the other person!

• •Treat Yourself
  It may sound like a cliché, but it’s so important: take good care of yourself — especially when you need it most. Self-care often falls to the bottom of the list when we’re busy, but that’s exactly when we need it most. Self-care is not a luxury, — it’s a necessity for your wellbeing!

💛✨ Remember: “Your inner world colors the way you experience the outer world.”

Take your time to explore these tips at your own pace and see how they feel for you. Self-care is a personal journey — so feel free to play with it, discover what works for you, and allow yourself to follow your unique path.

Feeling a bit stuck or in need of some extra support to take steps? Sometimes it helps to gain clarity together. If you feel like sparring or are looking for guidance, I’m here for you. Together, we’ll explore what can help you move forward on your personal path of self-care 🤩

{photo credits: istockphoto / primipil}